Sorry if this post makes you hungry.
Cookies. If you made me some, I officially love you until they're stolen from me. Probably by you. But cookies aren't just a normal gift you give just anyone. I've come up with reasons I would make cookies, and reasons The Fresh Prince [of Bel-Air] would make them. Here goes:
1. Can I? Please?
You want to do something you normally wouldn't be allowed to do. Default to bribery.
2. I want your forgiveness.
I messed up. And I can't find the words. So have some cookies.
2b. I want out.
I messed up. And I can't find the words. And this punishment I find a little excessive. Have some cookies.
3. I want your favor.
And these cookies are going to work better than cash. Mostly since I used my family's secret toll house recipe. And I know you like cookies. Everybody likes cookies.
4. I want to give you joy, then steal it out from under you!!!!
Do I need to explain? This is entertainment for me. Your sadness after I steal and eat your cookie brings a demented smile to my face. And then you realize that there are eleven more. :-)
5. I like you.
I give you these cookies to say that I enjoy our friendship. And remember, I only used one like. Strictly platonic. Now, then, if I used two...
6. I like like you.
Go on a date with me. These cookies will make you like me more, increasing my chances. And I already heard the cousin card. Not gonna work this time, girl! I have cookies!!!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Liar, Liar... Stave II
Abraham lied. And we can quote it. "She is my sister." He was lucky he didn't wear pants.
Then he justifies it.Genesis 20 11 Abraham replied, “I said to myself, ‘There is surely no fear of God in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.’ 12 Besides, she really is my sister, the daughter of my father though not of my mother; and she became my wife. 13 And when God had me wander from my father’s household, I said to her, ‘This is how you can show your love to me: Everywhere we go, say of me, “He is my brother.”’”
This happens twice. TWICE. Plus, this almost caused people to die. Nations. Liar, Liar, Kingdoms on Fire.
I wonder why it is confined to liars though. What about arsonists? I think their pants should catch fire. Robbers, their pockets should burn. And their pants. And those pesky Yellow Journalists, Their pants too. And Liars, can't forget them.
Wait, did I just end where I started?
Then he justifies it.Genesis 20 11 Abraham replied, “I said to myself, ‘There is surely no fear of God in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.’ 12 Besides, she really is my sister, the daughter of my father though not of my mother; and she became my wife. 13 And when God had me wander from my father’s household, I said to her, ‘This is how you can show your love to me: Everywhere we go, say of me, “He is my brother.”’”
This happens twice. TWICE. Plus, this almost caused people to die. Nations. Liar, Liar, Kingdoms on Fire.
I wonder why it is confined to liars though. What about arsonists? I think their pants should catch fire. Robbers, their pockets should burn. And their pants. And those pesky Yellow Journalists, Their pants too. And Liars, can't forget them.
Wait, did I just end where I started?
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Liar, Liar
Sometimes... Things blow up. We lose something precious. Our pants catch fire.
Well, I hate admitting my pants caught fire because I lied. I dropped my iPod. And I didn't report it. But that wouldn't be necessary. It usually survives.
I have never met a person who was excited about their pants catching fire. But we know that it is the direct result of being a liar. Which is a direct result of lying. That's right, l just said that. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire. The only other option is that my flatus ignited, and that didn't happen. And my pants aren't on fire again.
In Numbers, 250 Levites decided to believe that they were holy to the LORD. They tried to burn incense, and they were consumed by fire. I blame the pants. But I am pretty sure they wore robes. No, it was definitely the pants.
Anyways, the lesson is that Liars shouldn't wear pants... Cause it said nothing about shorts/robes/skirts.
Wait... Scratch that, Reverse it. Pants shouldn't wear Liars.
One sec... Pant wearers shouldn't Lie.
Yeah. That must be it.
Pant Wearers shouldn't Lie.
Well, I hate admitting my pants caught fire because I lied. I dropped my iPod. And I didn't report it. But that wouldn't be necessary. It usually survives.
I have never met a person who was excited about their pants catching fire. But we know that it is the direct result of being a liar. Which is a direct result of lying. That's right, l just said that. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire. The only other option is that my flatus ignited, and that didn't happen. And my pants aren't on fire again.
In Numbers, 250 Levites decided to believe that they were holy to the LORD. They tried to burn incense, and they were consumed by fire. I blame the pants. But I am pretty sure they wore robes. No, it was definitely the pants.
Anyways, the lesson is that Liars shouldn't wear pants... Cause it said nothing about shorts/robes/skirts.
Wait... Scratch that, Reverse it. Pants shouldn't wear Liars.
One sec... Pant wearers shouldn't Lie.
Yeah. That must be it.
Pant Wearers shouldn't Lie.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Characters
The main piece of a story is the Characters. If there aren't Characters, you have sceneries. Thus, I will create a character on this page.
Name: Ike
Reason: I like that name. Plus, he will be an ecoterrorist who guises as a recording artist.
Occupation: Aforementioned.
Type: Never takes a break from his schemes or music. He plots even while in jail. And acts.
Skills: Open-Source Virus Programming in hex code. Uses C programming code, among others.
Pitch-Perfect, Guitar and Violin. Also, can take poisonous sound waves without being affected.
Such sound waves are produced by his brother, John (after John Newton).
Fears: Carbon Tetrachloride (irrational), Tritium and other radioactive gases, losing record deal and being exported.
See, he isn't completely awesome. That would be cliche. Instead, he is a little nerdy, has irrational fears, and is driven to a pointless task by those irrational fears. If you create a 'perfect' character, he becomes a little bit blasphemous, since only the LORD is truly perfect. Your character needs internal conflict, dumb idiosyncrasies, and other pieces that make him unique. Humans are like that, why not faked characters? If you need an exaggerated example, see Wile. E. Coyote, and Adrian Monk. Both are lovable in their quirks.
Name: Ike
Reason: I like that name. Plus, he will be an ecoterrorist who guises as a recording artist.
Occupation: Aforementioned.
Type: Never takes a break from his schemes or music. He plots even while in jail. And acts.
Skills: Open-Source Virus Programming in hex code. Uses C programming code, among others.
Pitch-Perfect, Guitar and Violin. Also, can take poisonous sound waves without being affected.
Such sound waves are produced by his brother, John (after John Newton).
Fears: Carbon Tetrachloride (irrational), Tritium and other radioactive gases, losing record deal and being exported.
See, he isn't completely awesome. That would be cliche. Instead, he is a little nerdy, has irrational fears, and is driven to a pointless task by those irrational fears. If you create a 'perfect' character, he becomes a little bit blasphemous, since only the LORD is truly perfect. Your character needs internal conflict, dumb idiosyncrasies, and other pieces that make him unique. Humans are like that, why not faked characters? If you need an exaggerated example, see Wile. E. Coyote, and Adrian Monk. Both are lovable in their quirks.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Redeeming the Character
Many have looked upon themselves, and wanted to change. I've been there. I've needed to change my actions. But to change those actions permanently requires what I call 'Redeeming the Character', the being that acts, the reason I acted that way.
The best characters never start out perfect, but are riddled with flaws. They grow. But many times I had grown to selfishness, looking at only myself. All others became tools to achieve my goal in one magnitude or another. I needed to be changed. My thoughts became darker, objectified women, I destroyed and I hated, going down an endless spiral what finalizes with the end of a character. No character, only desire and despair.
One Writer saved me. Changed my surroundings to give me purpose, and returned life to a shell that was hollowing. I gained a 'face' and something to face toward, and became a character again.
The best characters never start out perfect, but are riddled with flaws. They grow. But many times I had grown to selfishness, looking at only myself. All others became tools to achieve my goal in one magnitude or another. I needed to be changed. My thoughts became darker, objectified women, I destroyed and I hated, going down an endless spiral what finalizes with the end of a character. No character, only desire and despair.
One Writer saved me. Changed my surroundings to give me purpose, and returned life to a shell that was hollowing. I gained a 'face' and something to face toward, and became a character again.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Universal Joints
A Universal Joint, or a U-Joint, is among the most common obscure things you possess many of. At least two for each car you own, plus you probably have one in a ratchet set. Why are they useful? When a rod is rotating, it needs to be completely straight, or it will look wobbly. Plus, the input and output must be in line with each other. But if that were the case, all vehicles would have to be so low to the ground that the engine and transmission would both take damage. Thus, we needed a way to allow a rod to rotate at angles, dropping it down simply and easily.
We already knew how to make a simple joint, one with the parameter only along one plane. This is like your knee. It only bends one way. But rotation requires that this joint also rotate. So what if we combined two parameters along perpendicular planes, planes that rotated? Concept, check. Having a second, perpendicular plane creates a three-dimensional parametric system, so that the altered line does not need remain on the plane. Instead, the planes can rotate all they want, without disturbing the alteration. As this rotates, the individual components of the 3D vector change, going from positive max to zero to negative max.
I have only found one problem with U-Joints so far, and that is their angular limit. Somewhere between 30 and 60 degrees is their limit, and at 90 you can get what I call "Wobbly Lock". Wobbly lock is where the components 'Lock', turning the 'Wobbly' into a pivot. This makes a poor excuse for a wrench. So keep that in mind next time you change your spark plugs. This can get annoying.
We already knew how to make a simple joint, one with the parameter only along one plane. This is like your knee. It only bends one way. But rotation requires that this joint also rotate. So what if we combined two parameters along perpendicular planes, planes that rotated? Concept, check. Having a second, perpendicular plane creates a three-dimensional parametric system, so that the altered line does not need remain on the plane. Instead, the planes can rotate all they want, without disturbing the alteration. As this rotates, the individual components of the 3D vector change, going from positive max to zero to negative max.
I have only found one problem with U-Joints so far, and that is their angular limit. Somewhere between 30 and 60 degrees is their limit, and at 90 you can get what I call "Wobbly Lock". Wobbly lock is where the components 'Lock', turning the 'Wobbly' into a pivot. This makes a poor excuse for a wrench. So keep that in mind next time you change your spark plugs. This can get annoying.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Addicted to Free - Over-Pricing Computers
Your computer runs Windows, right? And everything but your web browser cost you $$$, unless it is made of ads. I have a new option of freeness, Linux-based systems. Microsoft develops all their stuff by paying employees those $$$ you payed out to give you Operating Systems, on a cycle of v 0.5, v0.8, v. 0.5, v. 0.9, v. 0.5, v... The only people who really need to pay for those services are gamers, many of whom are pro- Open Source. (who dislikes free? Unless it is paying you, but still, free...)
So why did I decide to use it? (let me see... free... Dual booting...) I was hoping for faster boot times, which is what I got from it. But it has even more to offer... Free. Full word processing, internet access, video editing (WITH, apparently, multiple audio tracks), audio editing, and pretty much everything that a non-gamer would use. I even found free education-related applications. And still, FREE!
All of this information is about the Ubuntu operating system, www.ubuntu.com. I do recommend at least trying it, and if you like it, saving about 100 dollars on your next PC. And, if necessary, you can boot a windows backup on another PC. Just transfer it properly. (And, That's Free!!! Since you already paid for it.)
And I forgot, if you are used to Mac, and love their security, this one's security is about the same. Plus, it runs just a simply, with fewer errors. And, EVERYTHING is pretty much FREE!!!
So why did I decide to use it? (let me see... free... Dual booting...) I was hoping for faster boot times, which is what I got from it. But it has even more to offer... Free. Full word processing, internet access, video editing (WITH, apparently, multiple audio tracks), audio editing, and pretty much everything that a non-gamer would use. I even found free education-related applications. And still, FREE!
All of this information is about the Ubuntu operating system, www.ubuntu.com. I do recommend at least trying it, and if you like it, saving about 100 dollars on your next PC. And, if necessary, you can boot a windows backup on another PC. Just transfer it properly. (And, That's Free!!! Since you already paid for it.)
And I forgot, if you are used to Mac, and love their security, this one's security is about the same. Plus, it runs just a simply, with fewer errors. And, EVERYTHING is pretty much FREE!!!
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